Tag Archives: compassion
To Change Something, Take The First Step
I picked a fight with my man one morning this week.
I was tired – it’s been a gruelling week in a lot of ways – commuting 4 hours a day to a day job with a couple of difficult cases and earlier-than-usual starts, continuing a test-run of my upcoming Desire Map Workshops, and it’s early February – ever since I was in highschool, February has been the month I just collapse, physically and emotionally, no matter how well things are going or how upbeat everything truly is. The winter just drags me after a while, y’know! (Although I seem to be faring better this year than previous years with it).
Anyway. I’m not a morning person at the best of times – I unfortunately am a Dragon first thing in the morning, because there are things to be done! A day to start! Full speed ahead! Green light! GO! And I rarely feel I can relax until at least some of the stuff that needs to be done is done, “front-loaded”.
And one attempt by him at being helpful just felt throwaway and pithy and uncaring, and I just snapped.
We talked it out afterwards – all the niggling things that have rubbed each other the wrong way for a while. And all the solutions we came up with require more effort.
MORE EFFORT?! MORE WORK?!
RAHRRR! Dragon smouldering inside! Indignation rising!
I have to give more?! I’m working a day job and building a business on the side, working on my commutes, sometimes in my lunch hours, into my evenings, at my weekends and I have to give even more when it feels like nothing is left?!
…in order to fix whatever is wrong, yes.
Past the indignation, the grievances and pain, yes.
I somewhat begrudgingly have been humbled and reminded of a cardinal life rule that I first learned properly just over a year ago: